On the Inside

by Elizabeth R., Age 12 , Grade 6, Academy of St. Dorothy

I have plenty of problems. There are many things that I feel are wrong about me. One day, I’m the girl who trusts too easily. Next, I’m the girl who trusts no one. Another day, I’m the girl who is way too happy. Right after, I’m the girl who acts depressed. I try to be one person all of the time. I try to be a girl who fits in. I feel like a completely different person than I am on the inside.

I was in fourth grade at the time. The night before my parents had told me they were getting a divorce. I was so upset but I tried not to show it. I didn’t want anyone knowing something was wrong or worrying. I hid how I really felt and brought out my fake smile. Some of my friends noticed I wasn’t the same. During recess one of my friends came up to me and said, “Liz, what’s wrong? I can tell something is bothering you.” I lied and said “Oh nothing. I’m perfectly fine.” They believed me and we started to play with my other friends.

The next day at school was the same. Only this time, two people asked me if I was okay. During a bathroom break, one of my other friends came up and said, “Hey, are you okay?” Again I said, “Yeah I’m perfectly fine.” I got the same question at lunch by a different person but I gave them the same answer.

The next day at school was Friday. I was normally always excited for Fridays. However, this Friday I just couldn’t keep it in. at recess I couldn’t help but feel and look upset. A few of my friends came up to me and asked what was wrong. This time I didn’t bother saying “I’m fine”. However, a few tears started rolling down my face. I felt like a crybaby and that they would laugh at me. Surprisingly they didn’t laugh. They wanted to know what was wrong so I told them. They told me it was okay and that I had them if I needed them. I felt better telling them but I still hide my feelings. Normal people would learn their lesson and talk about their feelings. I guess I’m not “normal”. I don’t really think it’s good to hide how I feel but that’s just who I am.


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