by Sam B., Age 13 , Grade 7, South East, Iowa City, IA USA
Memoir - 1st Draft
Write the beginning of your memoir below: Start with your lead. Then, describe where you are and who you are with. After that, describe how the problem started.
The raft get stuck on a rock and the raft quickly fills with ice cold water.
I wake up in my sleeping bag on top of a mat in a cold tent on a mountain in Colorado. I put on my boots and walk up to breakfast. After breakfast me, Eli, and Eric, walk down to the valley and we already see a group of people playing kill-ball our (favorite game) and we join them. It gets hot and steamy as the day moves on and we hike further up the mountain to eat lunch. We discuss what we’re doing today so I find out that we are rafting.
Middle: Main event, describe it using lots of sensory details
“Do you wanna see a magic trick Sam?” Eli asked me
I said “yes.” He gets out one of his decks and flips through the cards. All the cards are the same shiny 9 of hearts. He flipped the cards over and flips through the cards again, they are all different cards. We meet down at the basketball court and we all climb into the van. We drive a couple hours to the rafting place and then we get helmets lifejackets and then watched a safety video. And then we get into their van and they dive us a couple more hours. We finally get to the edge of the river and then it starts to rain, which is really cold. It finally lets up enough to push the raft slowly into the river. We all sit down and listen to our guide’s instructions and start to paddle. We start to slowly paddle down the calmer rapid. The rapids get faster and stronger and ice cold mountain water splashes all over us. We slow down until we stop and get stuck on a rock and our raft quickly fills with ice cold water. Our guide starts to shake the raft and jump up and down. “Everybody get on the high side!” Yelled the guide. We all move to the high side which was on the left. “Hold on!” The guide yelled. I grasp the handle on the raft and don’t let go. As the raft slides off the rock one of my friends one the other side falls against me I almost fall off.
End: So what? Explain what you learned and/or how you changed.